A man goes into a pub, and takes a seat at the bar. In front of him in a bowl are some peanuts. He orders a pint off the barman and as the barman walks away, the man starts hearing voices.

"You're looking GOOD today!"

Startled, but not displeased the man looks around to see who said it - however, the seats beside him are empty and the barman is at the other end of the bar - so thinking it was meant for somebody else, he settles back down and starts reading a newspaper.

A few minutes later, he hears the voice again,

"Wow, did anyone ever tell you you could pass for a movie star!"

The man is again surprised, and looks round again, but cannot see anybody who would have said it, so settles back into reading his newspaper, muttering to himself "Must be somebody else."

"No, I mean you handsome," the voice says to him.

Now the man is worried, and calls the barman over.

"I'm sorry," he explains, "But I need a stiff drink also - I keep hearing this voice telling me how good I look."

"Ah," he says, "that'll be the complimentary peanuts."

Jokes List - Back to Funstuff