| Signs You are Drunk | ||
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1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects. |
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| 2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. | ||
| 3. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. | ||
| 4. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. | ||
| 5. You can focus better with one eye closed. | ||
| 6. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you walk in. | ||
| 7. Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive. | ||
| 8. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering. | ||
| 9. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you | ||
| 10. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. | ||